To Give is to Receive
by femmenerd
Summary: Joan has grown tired of waiting but she's nervous and she doesn't know what to do. One night in the shed, Adam surprises her. Auish, alternate Season 2, minus trauma.


**Author:** femmenerd

**Title**: "To Give is to Receive"

**Pairing**: Joan/Adam

**Rating**: M, what have you, for Sex-U-A-L-I-T-Y

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing to do with "Joan of Arcadia" not even the Season 1 DVDs

**Summary**: Auish, set after Season 1, so alternate season 2 minus trauma. Joan's grown tired of "waiting" but she's nervous and doesn't know exactly how to proceed. One night in his shed, Adam "surprises" her. (sorry about the excess quotage)

**Author's Note:** This is my first JoA fanfic. I usually write Roswell. From what I've seen most JoA fic is pretty, um, PG13, you might say and this is definitely NOT. But it's totally infused with the sweetness, as is unavoidable to a certain degree with these two unless you venture down the angst road. I wrote this because they're so cute I want to pinch them and also because I wanted to challenge myself by writing some somewhat sexy stuff that still captured that kind of innocence and awakening. Sigh. Back when makin' out was enough to make your head spin around. Oh, the memories.

**Part 1**

"Jane?" His breath was hot and butterfly-inducing as it brushed against her ear while he spoke. Ragged and hitching with his excitement, her "name" came out of Adam's lips as an entreaty, soft like a prayer.

Joan could feel the familiar roiling warmth flowing through her. It was getting more and more so with every one of these little make out sessions. Things had gradually been becoming increasingly intense between the two of them, tiny step by tiny step.

But lately! Joan felt like she was boiling up most of the time that she was around Adam. It was especially disconcerting when they were out in public – when his hand brushed hers, or if they held each others' gaze for too long. Sometimes she almost felt dizzy. But she didn't really know what to do with these feelings.

A while ago she had told him that she wanted to wait and he had simply accepted that. But the waiting had become difficult and ultimately Joan didn't even know what she was waiting for anymore. For divine guidance? Joan almost rolled her eyes at the idea of God dropping in to tell her it was time to have sex. Like he/she/it would ever be that direct! Idly she wondered which form God would take if the Supreme Being did decide to weigh in on Joan and Adam's hormonal fluctuations.

But all thoughts of this nature disappeared when she felt Adams soft lips slowly working their way up her neck and once again she heard – felt – him whisper his nickname for her in her ear.

"Jane. You're so beautiful," Adam said reverently before he pulled away just enough to look her in the eye and cup her cheek with his hand.

Joan blushed and looked up and down, as if perhaps there were some other "beautiful" girl in the room he might be referring to. It was silly, she knew, but even after well over a year together sometimes she found herself almost in disbelief about the way that he looked at her – like she was something precious, something sacred.

She was so happy right then that words completely escaped her, so instead she drew Adam's face to her own and kissed him, sweet and gentle at first but it grew ever more passionate with each second. Joan closed her eyes as they deepened the kiss, trying to let herself get lost in the moment – to forget her fears and doubts and the crazy ball of excited, nervous energy that appeared in her gut when she thought about getting closer with Adam.

All she knew now was that she wanted him, badly, but she could hardly wrap her mind around what that really meant. Oh, she'd been to health class of course, silly, so it wasn't like Joan was completely uninformed. It was more like she didn't even know where to begin. This whole thing had been so built up by now and so…and so…the truth was she was afraid of disappointing him. Or maybe not that. She wasn't really sure.

But as they kissed feverishly in the privacy of Adam's shed, laid out on a blanket and surrounded by his various artistic creations, Joan was beginning to feel more daring than she ever had before. Maybe it was the full moon, or some kind of residual bravado from the A she'd gotten on her physics test but Joan was feeling kind of crazy.

Or maybe it was just Adam -

The way that his whole face lit up when he saw her.

The way his voice sounded when he called her "Jane" – like he was savoring it in his mouth.

When she looked into his soft Bambi brown eyes, Joan felt like she could melt into him.

He was just so sweet and cute and dreamy and well, perfect.

And she wanted him. She wanted to touch his skin all over and revel in the way that his eyes burned for her when she did. There was something about the way that his breath sped up when they were together like this that made her feel warm all over. When he looked at her like he was right now, everything just went hazy.

She moaned softly into his mouth and he jerked slightly, pulling her closer to him like it was a reflex. Joan pushed her hands underneath his faded T-shirt, dragging the tips of her fingers up and down his chest, blushing when her hands came into brief contact with the tiny trail of hair that went from his belly button down….there.

Adam's breath was becoming even more labored and the sight of him so excited made Joan feel, well, funny. It was like electrical shocks were going off in between her legs and her whole body was tingling.

Tentatively Adam's hands began to work their way up her sides over her shirt and bra. When his fingers reached her breasts, Joan let out a little gasp. It wasn't the first time they'd gotten this far but tonight was different. She responded to his touch by reaching out with her own hand and pulling his in tighter, urging him to touch her.

Adam raised his eyebrows at her boldness as he looked up at her with those beautiful brown eyes of his while she unhooked the clasp of her bra and pulled her shirt over her head, being careful not to get her long brown hair caught as she did.

Now it was his turn to gasp and he stared at her wide-eyed, his lips that were almost too pretty for a boy hanging slightly open as he took in the sight of her.

Joan rolled her eyes up, suddenly feeling slightly bashful after that first rush of bravery.

"Wait, Jane. Look at me. You're…you're so pretty. I…I…"

"I love you too, Adam," she said quickly as she moved back down to kiss him. As their tongues tangled together, his hands grew a little bit bolder, cupping her breasts. As his thumbs grazed her nipples she threw her head back a little bit with pleasure causing Adam's eyes to grow wide like saucers.

He gulped and continued his ministrations, cheeks growing red as he watched the girl he loved writhe under his touch. Always fresh faced, the patches of pink on Adam's face were enflamed and visible even under the dim light in the shed.

Deep in the recesses of her mind, Joan was glad that the light was so flattering. But then, in this moment with the way that Adam was looking at her and touching her, she felt beautiful in a way that she had never imagined possible at one time. Because it didn't matter if her teeth were slightly crooked and her smile a little lopsided or that she wasn't model thin, because in this moment she was loved…and wanted. And right then she could believe that her little imperfections and eccentricities were part of why he loved her.

Without thinking about it, Joan found herself wiggling a bit in Adam's lap. The tingling in her secret places was overwhelming and she wanted him there. Adam looked down at Joan's legs and then looked back up at her with awe in his eyes. Slowly he slid his hands from her chest, down over her stomach and past where her skirt lay rumpled around her upper thighs. Looking her in the eye now, Adam clutched at her thighs with firmer fingers than before. He looked at her with question marks in his pupils for a few moments before he opened his mouth.

"Jane?" he almost croaked.

"Yes, Adam?" Joan managed to get out, despite the rapid pace of her heart.

"I want to…Can I? Um, what I mean is…Can I touch you…there?"

Joan immediately flushed even redder than before and stared right back at him, not sure how to operate her mouth anymore in speech. _Yes! _She screeched inside her mind. _Touch me. Touch me. Touch me._

"It's just that I…I want to make you feel good, Jane. I really want that. But if you don't want…" He left the statement hanging in the air as his hands moved further down her legs towards her knees, away from the area of her body in question, but remaining firm in their grip.

"OK," Joan said rapidly before covering her mouth with her hand and then nervously pulling on one of her fingers with her teeth. From the way she was positioned in his lap she was vaguely aware of his erection where it slightly protruded against her leg. She had never seen his penis but was definitely highly aware of its existence, it having made its presence known during other previous experiences (although never quite like this!) Feeling it touching her through their clothes caused heat to pool between her legs but also nervousness to shoot through her heart. What exactly should she do with it? But right now that didn't seem to be Adam's focus.

Right now, Adam was completely attentive to Joan and her body. A fact which she could in no way ignore as his hands moved shakily up her thighs.

Joan found herself involuntarily holding her breath as Adam's fingers moved steadily closer to the apex of her legs. She only let go of her breath when he finally reached the pink cotton crotch of her panties in order to stifle a high pitched moan. "_Why on earth couldn't I have worn some slightly less dorky underwear today?"_ she wondered to herself.

She shuddered as his fingers crept surreptitiously beneath the flimsy pepto-bismol colored cloth of her undies and made contact with the throbbing heat beneath. The panties in question were definitely soaked through and Joan nervously opened one eye to check on Adam and see his reaction. He was completely attentive to the task at hand so he didn't see her looking. Joan watched as his eyes darkened when he slipped two fingers inside of her. The look on his face combined with the sensation of his touch were almost enough to send her over the edge as it was but when he began circling her nub with his index finger was when Joan really began to lose control. "_Wow! He must be reading books about this or something" _was the last coherent thought in Joan's head before waves of pleasure filled her body and she came in a toe curling way that she had never experience before.

Mysteriously Adam was breathing just as hard as she was when Joan finally came down from her cloud. When he shifted up and hugged her tightly, she could feel his heart racing as she snuggled into his chest. They laid there in silence for awhile before Adam leant down to kiss her forehead.

"Hey, I should probably walk you home now so your Dad doesn't totally freak out," he said, voice getting muffled in her hair.

"Um, ah, OK," Joan replied, feeling suddenly disoriented.

On the walk to the Girardi house they held hands. They didn't talk much but then sometimes they did that – allowed themselves to just BE. Was that what this was or was it something else? But anytime that Joan would start to feel weird Adam would look at Joan or Joan would look at Adam and smile. Joan felt electrified, like she'd drunk eight cups of coffee only not so twitchy. She touched her free hand to her hair and her cheeks which seemed warmer than usual. "_Oh God! Will they be able to tell?" _she thought to herself but then chided herself for being paranoid. As much as she felt like what had happened between her and Adam that night should made some kind of indelible mark on her, she knew that was ridiculous and really in the scheme of things they hadn't done that much. Or rather SHE hadn't done much. Was he disappointed? Should she have…?

But then they were standing at her front door and Adam was leaning in to kiss her goodnight. It was a lovely kiss like their kisses always were but somehow it felt a little different this time – more intimate?

Joan smiled and reached for the door knob. "'Night, Adam. Are we still on for movie night tomorrow?"

"Cha, Jane. Of course we are. An Adam Sandler marathon? I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"OK. See ya tomorrow then." He pulled up his hoodie and smiled at her before loping away in that Adam-esque way of his. Once inside, Joan peeked out the window only to see him spin around and pump the air with his fist. It was hilarious and cute and just a little bit John Cusack in "Say Anything." Now _that _movie was a classic if Joan had ever heard of one. Orson Welles, who?

Finally Joan was able to release all of the tension and excitement of the night. After Adam was out of sight, she spun around and landed with her back against the wall, sliding down into a Joan-puddle with her hand over her mouth.

What was happening to her? A nervous flutter spurted up in Joan's stomach. She felt excited and electrifyingly terrified all at once.

She wanted to make Adam feel the way that he had made her feel. But she had no idea how.

**TBC…**


End file.
